Happy Birthday, Dr. King

With quite possibly the most divisive time in our history now upon us, I want to take a moment to remember one of the most powerful Civil Rights icons on this, what would have been his 88th birthday. Martin Luther King, Jr. and his message stand the test of time. His words resonate deeply within us all, and we should take a moment to listen.

I Have A Dream

Happy birthday, Dr. King. May we hear your words and find the strength to act.

You’ve Been Warned

In case anyone wasn’t already aware, I’m quite vocal in my disgust for President-Elect Donald Trump. In this final week of what can only be described as an administration like no other, I find myself becoming increasingly concerned as an American citizen.

I am dismayed at the veracity the GOP possesses to dismantle the Affordable Care Act, acting with impunity and swiftness without providing a single meaningful replacement. I am concerned at the indifference shown to a President-Elect who refuses to untangle himself from the glaring conflicts of interest that lie within his businesses. I am disappointed that segments of the American citizenry possess virtually no concern for their fellow men and women.

But, most of all, I am saddened that a hateful, bigoted segment of the American populace has somehow gained a voice. I am upset that work towards reducing mass incarceration, abolishing institutional and systemic racism, and efforts to promote social justice will now be squashed and vilified.

Make no mistake, Facebook friends and family: Donald Trump doesn’t inspire me directly, but his hateful rhetoric and ignorance does inspire me to continue to speak out against hate and discrimination. I will spend the next several years calling out injustice wherever I see it, never allowing the hate he espouses to gain a foothold in my community.

I will continue to speak loudly against Donald Trump, and I will not back down. Until the President-Elect shows me in an unequivocal manner that he represents equality, I will remain vigilant.

And, I’ll probably say the word ‘fuck’ a whole lot more during the next four years. You’ve all been warned.

trumpmanofthepeople

Here Comes 2017

Another year has come and gone.

I’ve been remiss about updates, but first suffice to say, our Whole 30 journey ended up being a Whole 60 trip, and at the end I lost 25 pounds. I’m doing my best to maintain these ‘gains’, and I have a new appreciation for food and the relationship I have with it. I find I don’t NEED sweets, nor do I necessarily crave them anymore.

French fries? fuhgetaboutit. I’ll always love them, but I’ll cherish them on occasion versus making them a staple of most meals. I mean, how can I miss them if they don’t go away, right?

In other news…

125college

We took the plunge. We decided to put down some roots. We bought a house.

Not just any house, but a really kick-ass, huge, beautiful, awesome house. A house with a pool. A house with a nice lot. A house with a pool. A house with potential and room to host parties. A house that will be a place we will live for years to come. Oh, did I mention that it has a pool?

I’ve never really felt ‘settled’ in this life, and I’ve moved more times than I care to admit. But, this time I feel like we have landed somewhere relatively permanent. No. I never say never, but this feels good. And it feels like home.

It’s been a great year professionally, too. I once again find myself in a nurse management position, but this time it feels good. Really good. I’m still close to the bedside, and I love my fellow nurses. I look forward to growth, experience, and gaining more confidence.

I’m still in school. I have finished my sixth quarter of my MSN program, and in a little over a week, the informatics courses begin. I’m so ready. I’m still on track to graduate in spring of 2019, so it’s going to be a while, but hey, I’m in no hurry. Hell, I didn’t even become a nurse until I was 40, so whatever.

My kids are awesome.

Tyler is finishing his senior year at Grand Blanc High School, pulling down fantastic grades and preparing to begin his freshman year at Central Michigan University. I almost can’t believe that he’s attending his mama’s alma mater. So. Awesome. While I’m excited for him, I’m equal parts nervous.

I remember the shit I did in college.

Julia is a diva. A toddler diva. She’s blossoming into quite the silly gal. She’s enamoured with all things dress up, and even at age almost 3, she has quite a unique sense of ‘style’. She’s finally talking, so we are often treated to a barrage of conversation.

Even with all of those great things in 2016, I can’t help but feel like 2016 sucker punched me. We somehow managed to elect Donald Trump for POTUS. I’m still scratching my head at that one. I’ve experienced all the emotions that one normally goes through with death. Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. I have to say, the last one has been the one I’ve struggled with the most. I am embarrassed by our new Commander in Chief. He’s made the United States the laughingstock of the entire world, and he won’t officially take office for another 19 days.

I’m still in awe that this narcissistic, ignorant, orange asshole will be someone that our children will have to learn about someday. I’m usually not a big fan of censorship, but I’d love to just fast forward in time until we elect someone else.

Hey Donald Trump, please don’t fuck it up. Don’t get all butthurt and decide to drop the big one just because of Alec Baldwin. Your life will go on. Just leave us out of your Twitter rants. Please.

That’s enough of that. I refuse to give that pussy grabber any more of my precious blog space.

I have no real resolutions for this coming year. Wait. I do have a few.

I resolve to lean into the uncomfortable spaces. I resolve to be assertive. I resolve to speak up when I may not agree. I resolve to continue to thank people for a job well done. I resolve to be someone that others can count on. I resolve to build and foster friendships. I resolve to kiss my husband more. I resolve to tell my friends and family that I love them. I resolve to listen more and talk less.

And on that last note, I’ll end here.

Happy 2017 to all of my faithful readers.

Whole30 Day 18

whole30truth

Wow.

Here I am on the downward slope of the Whole30 program, and I gotta admit: I’m feeling pretty damn good.

The question on everyone’s mind is usually: have you cheated? The short answer:

Yes.

I never set out to quit alcohol completely, BUT, I have nearly eliminated it. We traveled out of town last week, and yes, I did have a couple of cocktails. I also did have a tiny bit of cheese on a croissant, as we were lunch guests, and I wasn’t going to decline a meal with family for my Whole30 endeavor. As it was, I didn’t crave more, and it was a pretty small portion.

So, fast forward to Day 18. I sit here this morning, watching the news with my trusty black coffee, and I’m not feeling deprived in the least bit. As the days pass, and I can feel the difference in how my clothes fit, in my increased energy levels, and my improved sleep, I know this shit is working. It feels good to be in charge of food, rather than feeling as if food has some sort of hold on me.

My food choices have been quite good, but I do find myself falling into the same routines when it comes to breakfast. I always eat eggs and some fruit. I never thought I would ever eat so many eggs, but dozens and dozens later, I’m still coming back for more. Fruit has never tasted so damn sweet, and I find that oftentimes I can eat fruit as a ‘dessert’, and it satisfies my sweet tooth just fine. I still LOVE Taco Tuesday at work, and find the ground beef, shredded chicken, lettuce, tomatoes, and green onions taste quite good without the chips, cheese, and sour cream. Who knew?

Our recent trip to Boston was punctuated by some delicious seafood as well, and come on, who doesn’t love lobster with drawn butter (both Whole30 approved!)

20161008_183527

Don’t get me wrong. I still have some cravings and wistful longings for a large, cold Diet Coke from the McDonald’s drive thru, along with some delicious hot, tasty french fries, but those cravings are far and fewer between. I don’t really find myself as fixated on food in general, and for that I am grateful.

In 43 days, we travel to Kauai, and I am toying with the idea of simply keeping up the Whole30 program, or at least some semblance of one until that time. What better incentive than palm trees, Mai Tais, and beautiful sunsets with my handsome husband?

Who knows? I might even need some new clothes…

 

Day Six

Six days down. Twenty four days to go.

I’m feeling strong. I’m feeling proud of myself. And quite possibly the biggest thing that Whole 30 has taught me thus far is that there are countless times I have likely eaten something when I wasn’t even hungry. I’ve eaten out of boredom, sadness, anxiety, peer pressure, but oftentimes, it’s not due to hunger.

I have found myself really paying attention to the times I had just inadvertently taken a few bites of my daughter’s mac and cheese, grabbed a handful of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, relied on something less than ideal for a snack. It’s actually quite sobering to see just how often this happened.

That said, while I have visions of martinis and french fries dancing in my head, I’m feeling so proud of myself. I have stayed the course for six days, and the cravings are waning. My waistline feels smaller, my ‘pooch’ is definitely less ‘poochy’, and I can only wonder what the next 24 days hold.

Next week, we travel out of town, and this will be the ultimate test. Traveling, restaurants, cocktails, but no. I’m going to take it one meal, one day at a time.

For now, I’m victorious.

But, I’m getting awfully tired of eggs.

whathappens

Day Four

Well, today marks day four of my Whole30 journey, and I gotta admit, I’m already noticing some changes. 

I find myself feeling MUCH less bloated, and while I know I’m not supposed to weigh myself during this 30-day journey, I can’t help but feel lighter. I don’t miss the cream and sugar in my coffee nearly as much as I thought, but I’ve always been able to enjoy black coffee. 

I can’t really speak to the feeling of being less tired, since I just came off two night shifts in a row, so it may be difficult to gauge. I can say, however, that I lack that overwhelming feeling of fatigue today, so that’s different. 

I have had my fair share of temptations. Vanilla cake at work. Mac and cheese at home for toddler. Candy sitting on top of the fridge. I am resolute, and I don’t even feel like cheating. This is how I know I’m ready to stay in it for the long haul. With my eyes so fixated on the prize, the thought of how I would feel if I DID cheat, make it simply unacceptable. 

So, do I still miss french fries? Well, fuck yeah. 

I’m still human. 

Carrying on…

Day One

I already miss french fries.

Okay, not really, but I know the white hot passion for something that only french fries can cure, and it’s gonna happen.

Oh, it’s gonna happen.

Today I began the Whole30 program. It’s been a whole ten hours, and so far, so good. I mean, I slept for about seven of those hours, so how bad could it be, right? Truthfully, this morning’s breakfast of scrambled eggs and a banana was actually quite palatable. I have eggs quite often, so this seems like a treat.

Let’s see how I view eggs at the end of this 30 day program, shall we?

The only major difference for me is drinking black coffee. No creamer. No sugar. Oh, and wonderful husband of mine: don’t think I didn’t fucking notice that you hid the sugar bowl.

Nice touch.

Perhaps he hid it from himself, since he’s traveling this journey with me.

So, today it begins. I’m not setting out to achieve anything dramatic, but I would like my belly fat roll to get a little smaller, my thighs to perhaps not rub together THAT much, and maybe even get rid of some of this acne that’s been plaguing me in recent months.

So, allow me to apologize to you in advance for the things I may do out of hunger. I certainly won’t mean to snap at you when you ask me a simple yes/no question. I won’t hate you when you walk by me carrying hot french fries from the cafeteria. I won’t question our friendship when you sip on that Diet Coke.

But, I can’t promise that once or twice along this journey I won’t question my resolve, my willpower, or my ability to see this through. I’m human.

And this human loves cheese.

And wine.

Damn it.

whole30whynowine