Where’s Dexter?

Okay, so three days ago, a disgusting, putrid, foul, rotting stench was noted outside our back patio, and since we don’t live on the ground floor, we had no earthly idea what it could have been. We surmised it was a dead animal of some sort that had met its untimely demise somewhere out back.

Fast forward to today. Three days later. The smell is still just as pungent, foul, and is enough to make me gag. As a nurse, I’ve encountered my share of c diff, GI bleeds, and stage IV decubitus ulcers, but this? This is unbelievably bad. I can only imagine this is what a dead body smells like. The smell slaps you in the face as soon as you open the patio door or a window even a crack. It’s enough to turn my stomach.

Management of our townhome is aware, and even the police department paid us a visit. They even did a door-to-door search to ensure that nobody was indeed deceased. Everything checked out.

The smell remains, and is so foul, we may be forced to stay in a local hotel tonight. We are unable to open any windows or doors to allow any ‘fresh’ air inside for ventilation. We have to run our window a/c units nearly all day with temps in the high 80s. To say I feel trapped is an understatement. The smell has even permeated the interior to a very small extent. Once you get that scent in your nose, it’s hard to not smell it. Never mind us adults that reside here, but I feel badly for our daughter. Her room has that very faint odor. Damn it. DAMN IT.

I feel like I’m in a Stephen King novel. If I were going to dispose of a body, I would do a much better job than the hacks who may have left someone down there. I will admit, I’ll be disappointed in a weird, morbid way if this turns out to be a damn cat, raccoon, or squirrel. This smell is BIG. Big and powerful.

And don’t get me started on the massive amount of flies that have also taken up residence outside. Is this Amityville Horror? Is there a Pet Cemetery down there?

Dexter, I need you stat. Stay tuned.

dexter

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