Another year has come to a close. Tomorrow marks the beginning of 2014.
I feel compelled to write something deep, meaningful, and thoughtful, yet all I can think to write is filled with exclamation points !!! with a smattering of vulgarities.
Fuck. What a year.
A new job for Lisa.
The year began with a new job that held the promise of my first stab at management. To say it’s gone smoothly would be a lie. It’s been a struggle at times, and at other times I can’t imagine doing anything else. Management is as difficult as all those who came before me described. Day by day, hour by hour, things became less a nightmare and more of a decent reality. At the year’s end, my job, along with those of my management peers has been completely revamped. For some, this is a welcome change. For others, it is the cause of much emotion, stress, and turmoil. For me, I couldn’t be happier. I will be an integral part of nursing education and will help support my fellow managers with the more technical aspects of management (i.e. reports, coordination of online resources, etc). I will step away from managing direct reports and focusing more on supporting others who will continue to provide this vital aspect of management. This change will allow me flexibility for my new family, and most importantly allow me to focus on education, which has always been my passion.
James and I opened 2014 pursuing our dream of starting a family in earnest. We spent time with specialists and decided to throw all caution (and perhaps sanity) to the wind and go for it. We were highly skeptical that this idea would even have legs, but it not only had legs, it left the gate running. I found myself pregnant by late spring.
Me. 45. Pregnant.
Just let that sink in. I am still savoring those three words today.
To say this pregnancy has been ‘different’ than my first one 15 years ago would be a HUGE understatement. Everything is different. EVERYTHING. This pregnancy began with morning sickness before I even peed on a cheap plastic stick. It stuck with me for many weeks after the first trimester and beyond. The exhaustion was at times palpable and very real. Almost daily I would find myself incredulous at just how different this journey was for me. Upon writing this today, I am 34 weeks, and we are on the countdown to meeting our daughter. Wow.
Beyond the reality of actually getting pregnant, I am thrilled that I am sharing a child with a man who has perhaps waited longer than anyone I know to finally realize the joy of being a parent. As many times as I close my eyes and picture the exact moment when father meets daughter, I know I am not doing it justice. It will be a moment frozen in time, and I cannot wait to witness it.
My son is growing up fast.
My firstborn turns 15 next month, and I am probably more in shock over that, than the fact that his mother finds herself pregnant again. I couldn’t be more proud of the young man he has become. Polite, respectful, smart, conscientious, and still loves to hug his mom. I love him so very much, and look forward to hearing more about Robotics Club, high school, and his journey in driver’s training. Amazing, really. Seems like just yesterday he WAS a baby.
James and I wed in September of this year. Rather than do anything elaborate or ‘fancy’, we opted for a casual, fun affair in Sin City. Vegas seemed absolutely perfect to begin our life together as man and wife. We are optimists. We are fun. We couldn’t think of a better location to share our day with a close group of friends and family. We also used it as a venue to reveal a surprise about our baby.
It’s a girl.
Just when you think life can’t possibly get any better, it shows you that the future isn’t something to fear, but rather something to anticipate. 2014 will bring many gifts to our family. A new and improved career for me, a continued fulfilling career for James, and the beginning our our family unit with the birth of our daughter. I find myself more in love with my husband than I ever dreamed possible. It’s the little things: walking in the door, seeing his face, and those damn butterflies are still fluttering around my stomach. The sweetness of his love notes he leaves in random places for me to find. The gentle kisses he gives me and now my belly. The hugs he envelopes me with. The sheer fact that even though I now outweigh him, he still tells me that with my blossoming bust, ass, and belly, I still look beautiful.
What a year it’s been.
Okay, 2014. Do your thing.