I honestly never thought I’d admit this.
I’m hanging up my ‘competitive’ running shoes.
No more denial. No more excuses as to why I haven’t run in weeks or months. I’ll tell you why. I’m simply not a runner right now. I won’t say I’ll NEVER run again, since I never say never, but I’m being honest with myself, and that means I need to bid running farewell. For now. Maybe forever. I don’t know, but I do know that there’s a shift taking place inside my brain.
I’ll be the first to admit that when I first began CrossFit six months ago, I was beyond skeptical. I even devoted an entire post to it. I was doubtful that I’d see any gains with regard to my body, stamina, strength, etc. I even admitted that I’m not the most patient person in the world when it comes to changing my body. That said, I stuck with it for these past few months, faithfully attending classes at least three times per week.
Slow, but steady sometimes really does win the fucking race.
I’m not there yet, but ya know what? I’m getting there. I can tell.
As a funny aside a few weeks ago, I asked my boyfriend to look at these ‘lumps’ on the tops of my shoulders. He felt them and immediately proclaimed, “Wow. it’s like two huge tumors there!” We giggled, and but I kept noticing these ‘lumps’.
They keep getting a little bigger each week. Firmer, stronger.
I’ve never seen these muscles before. Running didn’t build strong shoulders. It definitely did other things, but shoulders wasn’t on the list.
In any event, I have come to a realization. Finally. One I feel good about.
I’m ready to say hello to CrossFit and goodbye to regular running. I don’t feel badly about it one bit. I’m ready.
I’ve struggled with my body type for years now, and I’ve finally found a workout and exercise that truly embraces my body type. Strong really is the new skinny. It’s refreshing to see REAL PEOPLE working out. Not a bunch of unhealthy exercises freaks that starve themselves to get into a size smaller. I’m not inferring that running establishes bad habits, but as a woman, it’s a constant barrage from the media and society that tells us smaller, tinier, more petite is better.
Well, ya know what?
That’s complete and utter bullshit.
I’m tired of trying to obtain the societal equivalent of the perfect body. I’m tired of ignoring the fact that I have a bubble butt and mancalves and big quads. They aren’t going anywhere. Really. They’re not.
I have finally found happiness in my strong and powerful frame. Finally.
I have heard my boyfriend tell me on numerous occasions, “Lisa, I really think you can make CrossFit work for you. You’re so strong.” He has this obsession with my ‘half-pipe’ as he calls it. My back. He’s constantly running his hands up and down my spine, proclaiming, “I love your half-pipe.”
Well, ya know what? I finally love it, too.
I will always love running for what it did for me. I successfully lost over 60 pounds and have, for the most part, kept it off for seven years. It provided me hours and hours of free therapy. I look back fondly on each and every race I ran, every marathon I struggled through, and every training run I cried with exhaustion. This body served me well as a runner, but the time has come to face the music and realize that perhaps it was meant for something different.
So, goodbye running. I will miss you, but I need to let you go. I need to move on to something different. I’ve enjoyed being with you all those years, and I am happy that perhaps I provided a bit of inspiration to others who got off the couch and moved their body in ways they didn’t think possible. Maybe I can do the same with CrossFit now.
Only time will tell. In the meantime, there’s a WOD today with my name written all over it.