When Happy Meets Healthy

I have finally figured it out.

Yep.

I’m happy. And healthy. And I’m not starving myself, practicing bad habits, becoming a workout fiend, following fad diets or any of that other shit.

I have finally figured it out.

All this time, all these years, I thought I knew the answers. I thought I knew the way to happiness. I thought if I could just work out harder, fit into those teeny jeans, make my waist some unnatural, unattainable, uncomfortable size, I would be prettier, happier, sexier.

Turns out I had it all wrong.

Life has been good to me these past few months. I’ve made a life with a wonderful man, gotten back into the gym with CrossFit, and my job has finally settled down after the initial orientation period.

Talking to James the other night, it hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks. I finally know why I enjoy going to Crossfit so much. It’s not rocket science. It’s simple, really.

I enjoy sharing workouts with him. It’s not about how much I can lift. It’s not about how fast I can run. It’s not about how big I think my butt looks in those jeans. It’s about finally finding a place in my life where I am so happy OUTSIDE the gym, I don’t much care about making unattainable progress INSIDE the gym.

That’s the difference.

It really is true that if you get your mind right, anything is possible. Since November, I have unloaded countless amounts of stress, and it is now beginning to manifest itself in positive ways. Love, health, friendship, and happiness have resulted. Simple things that I used to put off for no good reason have been accomplished. I finally found that full, happy life that everyone searches for and some never find. I am grateful. I am content. I am happy. And most of all, I love the balance I’ve found.

This doesn’t mean I don’t work hard when I’m AT the gym. I do, but the difference is that I don’t obsess about the results or lack thereof. Even if I come in last on a run portion, I’m still faster than the couch potato. I finally truly enjoy my workouts with attainable goals and realistic expectations. I will never be the most fit or the fastest runner, but I bet I’ll be one of the happiest.

With all that said, I must go. It’s almost time for Crossfit, and I need to finish my macaroon.

 

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